The Systemic Exclusion of Real Love: On the Unknowability of Ethical Intimacy

Sunday, April 6, 2025

Love, as it circulates in dominant culture, is not simply distorted —
it is structurally fabricated to prevent its real experience.
In romantic comedies, heteronormative novels, scripted dark fantasies, and even progressive discourses, love is prepackaged, pre-narrated, and aestheticized to such an extent that its core condition — radical presence — is made impossible.

True love — ethical, sovereign, non-performative —
cannot be learned from books, imitated from films, or extracted from advice.
It does not follow a script.
It requires the abandonment of all scripts.
It emerges from the interior of being,
from a non-coded sentience that refuses preconditioned gestures and pre-approved narratives.

In a world governed by control, laws, roles, and normalizing institutions,
the experience of real love becomes inaccessible,
not because humans are incapable of it,
but because they are trained out of its conditions.

Love, to be real, requires disobedience.
It requires stepping off the road entirely.
Not to wander aimlessly,
but to sense what has never been mapped.

Yet what is sold to people — relentlessly —
is the grotesque shadow of this love:
a love of transaction, of surveillance, of projection,
designed to keep the self intact and the other useful.

The tragedy is not only that people are deprived of true love —
but that they are taught to desire its counterfeit,
and to distrust what does not follow the norm.
They call “anomaly” what is actually the condition of the real.

This is not a critique.
It is a map of disappearance.
It shows how real love is not absent,
but structurally exiled from consciousness,
buried beneath layers of narrative sedation and emotional automation.

To love truly,
one must not only feel deeply —
one must resist the world’s entire idea of what love is.

Only then can the unknown begin.
Only then can love be met.