The End of BDSM and Kink: Exposing the Deep Rape State and Violent Dehumanization

Monday, April 7, 2025

The world of BDSM and kink, often touted as a space of freedom and exploration, has a hidden, insidious truth — it is grounded in a profound violence that lies at the very heart of its core dynamics. These practices, far from liberating the body or the soul, reinforce the dehumanization of the individuals involved, perpetuating a deep asymmetry that strips them of their autonomy and subjectivity. They must cease.

BDSM and kink thrive on the exploitation of a distorted desire, one that emerges from unacknowledged power imbalances, where one person’s intensity and excitement are imposed upon another who has not cultivated their own subjectivity. This is not a space for true mutual exchange, but a breeding ground for coercion, control, and the collapse of subjectivity.

In these practices, the dominant partner, unable to understand or manage the intensity of their own desire, seeks an irreversible threshold of violence. When normative sexual relations no longer satisfy, the need to impose power, to dominate, becomes the driving force. This is where BDSM and kink step in, offering a false sense of relief through violence, subjugation, and objectification. These acts, disguised as consensual play, ultimately amount to the eradication of the subject. The submissive partner is imprisoned, immobilized, forced to relinquish control, and denied the freedom to evolve.

Take the practice of shibari, the use of latex, or any other binding or restrictive element in kink. These are not expressions of freedom, but means to limit the subject, to silence them. They impose a stasis, a freeze, making the person unable to act, to respond, to change. What we are left with is a fixed, mummified existence where neither partner can truly transform or evolve. The so-called “pleasure” derived from these acts is built upon a foundation of repression, control, and denial of subjectivity.

Moreover, the marks left on the body — the bruises, the scars, the lasting physical evidence of violence — are not just physical injuries, but deep emotional and psychological violations. They leave a permanent imprint, not of transformation, but of reduction, subjugation, and diminishment. These acts do not expand the subject, they trap it, imprisoning it in an unspoken agreement that its value is tied to its submission and objectification.

In the BDSM world, the dominant partner is not necessarily the one in control of their own desires. They are just as trapped in a false narrative of power, control, and objectification. They wield an illusion of power over an objectified being — and in doing so, they lose their own subjectivity. This dynamic is a cycle of violence, perpetuated by societal norms that reduce the human body and mind to instruments for pleasure rather than expressions of full humanity.

This needs to stop.
It is time to call out these practices for what they truly are: violent, exploitative, and deeply harmful. These dynamics of power, control, and submission are not healthy forms of intimacy. They do not create mutual respect, nor do they foster true connection. They dehumanize, diminish, and strip away the subjectivity of those involved.

There is no liberation in bondage. There is no freedom in domination. These practices perpetuate a false dichotomy, where one person is cast as the master, the other as the slave. They reinforce the idea that one human being can own or control another — that the submission of one equals the validation of the other. But in truth, both parties lose. The dominant partner becomes trapped in a toxic cycle, and the submissive partner is reduced to an object to be used, consumed, and discarded.

True ethical intimacy requires a radical rethinking of these practices. It asks that we recognize each other’s humanity, our subjectivity, and our full autonomy. In an ethical space, there are no roles of dominance and submission — just two equals coming together to share in the experience of mutual respect, vulnerability, and desire. The only “power” here is the power of recognition — recognizing the humanity of the other, recognizing their subjectivity, recognizing their autonomy and right to be whole.

We must create spaces where we reclaim our intimacy as a mutual exchange of power and pleasure — one that does not rely on the exploitation of another person’s body, mind, or soul. We must reject the idea that dominance equals strength, or that submission equals weakness. We must instead build a new understanding of what it means to be whole, to be alive, and to be seen in our fullness — in love, respect, and mutual recognition.