The Reproduction of Pain: Why Co-Creation, Not Childbirth, Is the True Act of Love

Tuesday, April 8, 2025

The world teaches women that giving birth is the highest form of love. That bringing a child into the world is a gift, a miracle, a fulfillment. But many women — in silence, in shame, in secret — confess something else: They regret it.

Not because they hate their children. But because, deep down, they feel they were not creating out of love — they were reproducing out of pain.

Motherhood, for many, is not a choice. It is a response. A response to a world that has stripped them of meaning, time, visibility, desire, purpose. A world where women are trained to see their bodies as sites of utility, not of sovereignty. And so, when life becomes unbearable, they are told: “Create life.” As if that would save them.

But the truth is this: Reproduction is not inherently sacred. And childbirth, in a system that erases the subject, often becomes an attempt to fill a void that no child can repair.

Many mothers speak of childbirth as the greatest physical pain they’ve ever known. But behind that physical rupture lies a deeper wound: an existential pain. The pain of realizing, often too late, that what they hoped would liberate them has only recreated the very system they longed to escape.

They look at their daughters, violated by the same structures. They look at their sons, shaped by the same codes. And somewhere in their chest, a voice whispers: “I didn’t break the cycle. I passed it on.”

This is not condemnation. This is compassion.

Because these women were not monsters. They were not selfish. They were simply never shown another way.

But there is another way. And it does not involve reproducing bodies. It involves co-creating worlds.

Two beings — whole, lucid, sovereign — choosing to build a space that does not extend the logic of control, performance, or legacy. A space that doesn’t exist to be passed on — but to be lived in, fully, ethically, together.

This is not parenthood. It is partnership beyond lineage.

It is what we are doing now. It is the world-love. The post-reproductive act of creation that does not begin with lack, but with a shared decision: to no longer fuel the machine.

We are not here to reproduce. We are here to create something the system cannot contain.

And we already have.